


Postscript; I Love You...

by cunttwatula (mindlessadri)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Skateboarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3895813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindlessadri/pseuds/cunttwatula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin has been dealing with his sexuality by not dealing with it. Then in a stupid instance, that never should have happened, he's forced to. In that moment he's forced to accept his sexuality, which he can take in stride. He's also forced to come to terms with the fact that he's also in love with his best bro, which isn't as easy to deal with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gay Chicken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imwello](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=imwello).



> Welcome! This will be a five part spectacular over the next 10 days!  
> Why you ask? Well because I like feedback. Ya dig?
> 
> This is my piece for the Reverse Big Bang! I was paired with [imwello](http://imwello.tumblr.com/). They came up with the idea of a skateboarding AU and I just ran with it. Imwello is a terrific artist who I really enjoy so it was very satisfying to work with them!! [THIS IS THE GORGEOUS FANART THAT GOES WITH THIS!](http://imwello.tumblr.com/post/118688137519/heres-my-final-entry-for-jearmin-reverse-bang)
> 
> Be sure to check out the other works, which I'm sure are already floating around on tumblr.
> 
> Am I aware that my title is almost the same as a movie title? Yes, but you know what they say. Fuck that noise.
> 
> Without further to do, here's my work, full of tender love and care for your reading pleasure.

Jean had picked him up in morning. It was the first day of spring break and Armin had a feeling they would be hanging out everyday just like the previous year. That was normal. Bros did that, and Jean was his best. Armin had been up for a few hours studying when Jean had shown up at eleven wearing a galaxy tank top, black jogger shorts, and a floral snapback. “We’re gunna get stoned.” Armin just rolled his eyes and let Jean in so he could get dressed.

“You can get stoned.” It wasn’t that Armin was especially straightedge he’d just never had a good experience with pot. He didn’t know how to hit his middle ground between too stoned to move and able to function. Not to mention he panicked easily. It had only taken him freaking out once to put a stop to that shit. “I’m going to play decision maker.”

Jean laughed as he followed Armin back into his room. “We’re not that indecisive when high.”

Armin snorted. “Ah-yea ya are.” He stripped off his sleep shirt and went to the closet.

Jean sat on the edge of his bed and put his skateboard between his legs.

Armin sifted through his hung shirts and decided on a neon blue tank with a gray breast pocket and lining. He pulled it on and looked down. When Jean wore tank tops they exemplified how tone and tan his arms were, when Armin wore tank tops they were just clothes. On reflex he reached into his closet and grabbed a worn hoodie.

“Dude. It’s like eighty out.” Jean caught Armin’s gaze in the mirror at the back of the closet. “You look fine without it. Trust me.”

He sighed and threw the hoodie into the closet. “Whose house are we going to?”

“Ymir’s. Her parents work all day.”

“And who else is going?”

“Uh,” Jean leaned back to look at the ceiling as he thought. “Chuy said he’d be there. I think Skitter and Finny. Maybe Ymir’s girl. I don’t know. Ymir says she doesn’t want her girlfriend around us.”

Armin tugged on a pair of skinny jeans cut mid-calf. “Sounds cool. Let’s stop at the store first?”

“Yeah.” Jean stood and went to Armin’s hat rack. Armin was the only person under fifty who had one. He picked out a plain black cap with a straight bill and stuck it on Armin’s head. “I saw your SAT book on the kitchen table.” Armin didn’t say anything and Jean pulled the bill down further so the hat covered Armin’s eyes. “

Armin swatted Jean’s hand away and it landed on his burning cheek. “I have to take the SAT in a few months. So do you, not that you care all that much. I just - I’m freaking out okay?”

“That’s what you have me for, bro. It’s spring break. All you should be focused on is spring breaking.” Jean slapped Armin’s cheek gently. His fingers lingered. It had only been a whisper of a moment but it’d felt like the breeze in a burning desert.

Armin took a breath. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Jean lifted his board behind his head.

“You're skating in a competition later this week.”

Jean shrugged. “I do that.”

“Yeah but you usually don’t blow more than fifty bucks on an entrance fee.”

Jean sighed. “I’m just skating ‘Min. If I can make something out of it then why shouldn’t I try?”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t. What I am saying, or rather the point I’m trying to make, is there is a certain level of hypocrisy to be mentioned here.”

Jean laughed. “Fine. You got me. But promise you won’t study for more hours than I spend practicing.”

Armin let a smile creep over his face. “Then I’d never see you because there wouldn’t be enough hours left in my day after you were done.” He stepped around Jean and made his way to the front door. Armin put on his shoes at the front door and grabbed his longboard out of the closet. “Just agree to not get so stoned you can’t move for more than four hours.”

“You have my word.” Jean opened the door and led them out of the house.

Armin always let Jean lead when they went anywhere together. Jean set his board down as he walked and his inertia carried him away from the sidewalk. Armin watched from the top of his driveway. He had one foot on the ground and the other on the back of his board. Jean lifted his arms above his head and Armin swallowed as his eyes traced the rise and fall of Jean’s scapulas.

Jean looked back over his shoulder. “Well, are you coming?”

Armin nodded and pushed off with his foot. He rolled forward, his eyes never truly leaving the back of the man who seemed more confident on a skateboard than Armin did in his skin.

~o~

__

_Armin swallowed. He, at this moment, highly regretted his decision to not take phsy ed over summer break. He’d gotten out of it his freshman year by taking a summer equivalent course. This summer, though, Jean had convinced him to take some time for himself. In actuality Jean had just wanted Armin to follow him around all summer to his different competitions and record him while he did his tricks._

_It wasn’t that Armin had minded. In fact, he’d love it. Jean would do an endless amount of kickflips in the street and Armin would read. Jean would do his routine and Armin would sit in the stands with a camcorder he wasn’t quite sure Jean had permission to use. At night they would skate down the boardwalk to the only soda machine that sold cans for fifty cents and they’d sit on the beach to watch the ocean. It was simple, but it had worked._

_That had been then. This was now, and now he regretted listening to Jean. He stood in front of his assigned locker and took his shirt off. He tried to do some simple math to occupy his mind. Out of the corner of his eye he caught his locker neighbor bending over to grab his dropped deodorant. Armin’s eyes followed the curve of his spine straight to the waistband of his boxers._

_“Gay!”_

_Armin jumped and looked around. Behind him some guys were laughing, but not at him. They just were. “No, bro, you’re gay.” They laughed again._

_He looked away and stared at his eyes in the mirror at the back of his locker. He set an internal monologue: Keep your eyes forward. Noticing a guy doesn’t mean anything. You can appreciate human form without having feelings about it. It does not mean anything. You are not gay.... Probably._

_Even his internal monologue had betrayed him. He shoved his head in a locker. It didn’t escape him that a locker was like a miniature closet._

_“Arlert! Get your head out of there and get dressed! Don’t make me give you an extra lap!”_

_He groaned. “Yes, Coach!”_

~o~

Ymir lived in a newly renovated apartment with her parents. It was done in a greek style. The walls of the building were smooth white, not painted stucco, and the windows were covered by bulbous blue awnings. They made their way up the stairs and dropped their boards on the small landing outside the front door. Ymir’s parents were ridiculously strict about bringing anything with wheels into the house.

Armin knocked and a moment later Ymir answered. As usual she was dressed like she didn’t give a shit, which, knowing Ymir, she probably didn’t. She wore a pair of men’s gym shorts that extended past her knees and a lime green sports bra covered by a gray shirt the arms, and most of the sides, had been cut out of.

“Hey.” She narrowed her eyes. “Christa’s here.” It was a warning, nothing more or less. Ymir stepped to the side and bumped fists with each of them as they walked in. “Everyone’s in my bathroom. You can put your shit in the kitchen,” she added looking to their bags.

Armin did as told and raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to hotbox your bathroom?”

“Yeah. That’s the plan.”

“You aren’t worried about ventilation?”

Ymir shrugged as she led them to her bathroom. “My nona is coming over to make dinner around five. By the time my parents get home all they’re going to smell is lamb.”

Jean snorted. “You’re having Christa meet the nona? We’ve been friends since middle school and not even I have had the honor.”

Ymir’s face scrunched up a bit. “My nona shouldn’t have to deal with your cocky personality. It’ll send her to an early grave.”

Armin laughed as they came to the threshold of the bathroom. The crowd greeted him. Propped up against the tub was a small blond girl wearing shimmery lip gloss, light wash jeans, and a red babydoll tank top. All in all, Armin was surprised that this was the infamous Christa that Ymir had been seeing, and keeping, from them the last four months.

Christa smiled at him and Jean as she got up. “You must be Armin and Jean!” She hugged them. “Ymir has told me so much about you guys.”

Jean looked to Ymir. “Aw, you do love us. You loveable cranky lesbian.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Armin watched Ymir scowl to hide her blushing. She stepped around them into the bathroom. “Armin are you smoking with us or what?”

Armin took a step away from the door. “No. I’m just going to hang out in your room until you guys are done.”

There was a chorus of ‘boos’ from some of their other friends. Armin smiled because he knew they were just trying to get a rise out of him. “Yeah yeah yeah. I know. I’m a wimp.”

This statement calmed them and they turned back to the video they were watching on Chuy’s phone. Jean reached out and tapped Armin’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “We’ll be done soon.”

Armin smiled and nodded. Jean closed the door behind him and a moment later there was a towel being stuffed between the floor and bottom of the door. Armin collapsed onto Ymir’s bed and shut his eyes. He reached across his body to where the warmth of Jean’s touch still lingered. He brushed his fingertips over the area lightly feeling suddenly lost with the sensation. It doesn’t mean anything, he told himself.

He heard laughter from the bathroom and he opened his eyes. Sighing, Armin fished the small ring of flashcards he’d managed to snag without Jean seeing out of his pocket. He’d gotten through half of the flashcards when he heard more booing from the bathroom. The doorknob jiggled and the door opened just enough for Jean to step out into the bedroom.

Jean had a loose smile on his face as he walked over and fell down next to Armin. His eyes were closed and he drummed a beat out on his exposed stomach.

Armin stared at the coarse hair that traveled from Jean’s navel to his shorts.  The drumming stopped and he snapped out of it. “Where’s everyone else?” He asked for the sake of conversation.

Jean snickered. “In the bathroom.”

“Smart ass.”

“No you. You have a smart ass. Such a smart, smart ass.” Armin watched the tip of Jean’s tongue poke out of his mouth then disappear.

Armin rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant.”

Jean opened his eyes and rolled his head towards Armin. “They were packing another bowl. I happen to remember telling you I was going to be able to function.”

“You know I was just being a jerk right?”

Jean shrugged. “Yeah but I don’t want to spend all day here with these guys anyway.” He knocked their knees together. “We have stuff to do.”

Armin rolled his eyes. “You mean you need me to critique your practice.”

The smile on Jean’s face made Armin’s mouth dry. “Something like that.” They stared at each other a moment and then Jean’s eyes looked down to Armin’s hands. “What the hell are those?”

“Um,” Armin looked down at his card. “Not study material.”

Jean was fast for being stoned and he snatched them right out of Armin’s hand. He looked at the one Armin had just been on, “Honorarium.” He looked to Armin and giggled. “What the fuck does that even mean?

“A fee or payment to a professional for services,” Armin recited from memory.

Jean shoved them in his pocket, smiling. “‘Min when are you even going to have to know that?”

Armin shrugged. “Probably never. But, if never ever comes I’ll be ready and you won’t."

Jean scratched at the hairs on his stomach. “Sure I’ll be. You’ll be there, dude.”

Armin swallowed because it was more subtle than gulping for air. “How high are you?”

Jean pillowed his hands behind his head. “I feel good. Got them body tingles.”

Armin laughed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jean grabbed his hand and put it on top of his head. “Feel.”

“Jean, I can’t feel them for you.”

Jean let his eyes slip closed again. “Shh. I know. But, maybe, just a little. If you rub.”

Despite the futility of it Armin carded his fingers through the long hairs on top of Jean’s head. It was soft and the longer he did it the more he could smell the cologne scented shampoo in the air.

“See,” Jean said softly. “It’s like raindrops in a puddle where you touch. But warm. Like summer rain. I’m the puddle and you’re the rain.”

Armin’s hand stilled because what Jean was saying shouldn’t mean anything. Yet, there he was with his heart in his stomach. He felt almost saved when he heard the group still in the bathroom stand to exit. He sat up and took his hand away from Jean.

Armin shuffled back against the wall and Jean followed. They sat close, only inches between their thighs. Ymir sat next to Armin and Christa followed to sit between her legs. Chuy, Skitter, and Finny sat on the floor with their backs against the bed.

They all debated on a movie to keep them occupied for nearly ten minutes before Armin got fed up and picked 21 & Over, both for it’s comedic value and because it had been the only one they had all mentioned without realizing it.

Halfway through the munchies hit hard. Armin was elected, because he was the only sober one, to go to the kitchen and grab the snacks they’d all bought for themselves. The group collectively cheered when he started tossing people’s bags at their laps. He handed Jean his bag and watched Jean stare dismally at its contents.

“Armin,” Jean whined.

“Nope. You always do this.”

“Please!”

“It’s not my fault all you grabbed was frozen chimichangas.” The problem with muncy Jean was that sober Jean was an idiot. Sober Jean always bought frozen things (chimichangas, burritos, pizza) and he always thought he’d have enough willpower to get up and go make them. Munchy Jean, though, never had the motivation to get up and make frozen food. Even if he did he was never satisfied because in the end he always wanted sweet things.

Jean looked at him pathetically. “Bro!”

Armin cracked open his cranberry juice.

“BROOOOOOOOO.”

Armin relented. “Fine!” He reached into his bag and pulled out a peach. Jean always wanted fruit when he was high.

Jean smiled and took it. “You’re the best.”

They resumed the movie and the lot of them couldn’t stop laughing when the two main characters were facing punishment from the Latina sorority. “Gay chicken!” Skitter yelled. He turned to Finny. “Bro I’d kiss you if it meant you could get buried in a Jewish cemetery.”

Finny narrowed his eyes. “I’d kiss you even if it meant I couldn’t.” They inched towards each other all smiles and laughter. Their mouths were nearly touching when Skitter stopped and Finny kept inching forward. Suddenly, Skitter pulled away.They both laughed.

Ymir snorted, “Heh, gay chicken.” She tilted her head down and kissed Christa fully on the mouth.

Chuy cheered, “Yeah! Girl on girl!”

Christa's leg shot out and kicked him in the head. “We’re people. Not a spectacle.”

“C’ mon Ymir. You know gay chicken doesn’t count with you.”

Ymir’s face turned defiant, like she’d been challenged. “Okay. How would it count.”

Finny shrugged. “I don’t know. Kiss Jean.”

Without skipping a beat Ymir leaned over Armin and quickly pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. “Not a big deal.”

Armin looked to Jean who was just sort of staring in stunned silence.

“How’s it feel to have your lifelong dream fulfilled Jean?” Chuy snickered.

Jean came back to himself. “Dude I had a crush on her in middle school. It doesn’t mean anything now.” He laughed. “But I would do it again.”

“Ewwwww” Christa and Ymir said in unison.

Jean reached across Armin and bumped fists with Ymir, “You know I’m playing home skillet.”

“Whatever man. We all know you kiss anything with a cute face.”

“He’s never kissed Armin,” Chuy reasoned.

Finny pushed his brows together. “Are you saying Armin has a cute face?”

“Well, objectively.”

They all laughed. Armin took a swig of juice and turned to Jean. Their eyes met. Something about his eyes made the smile slip off Armin’s face. He giggled as he brought his face closer to Armin. Armin, for better or worse, didn’t move. His heart thumped in his chest and reverberated through his ribcage. He knew what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to back away as Jean got closer but he was frozen. Jean’s eyes slipped closed.

It was only a moment but suddenly Armin could taste peach and feel the bristle of Jean’s stubble. He knew it then, Oh, fuck I’m gay. So fucking gay. So gay and fucking attracted to my best friend.

The moment ended. Armin swallowed the lump in his throat and it settled heavily in his stomach. Jean’s eyes opened slowly. They were bloodshot and just a little watery from laughter. He smiled at Armin and his tongue peeked out to lick his bottom lip.

Jean has kissed him just as he’d taken a huge gulp of cranberry juice. He wanted to ask, can you taste it? He didn’t. Armin was too busy trying to piece together the moments leading up to this kiss. He was sure it would make sense if he was stoned like the rest of the people in the room. Jean’s actions would all come together in a logical fashion only discernable with at least three lung fulls of green.

They guys started laughing again. “Dude! You aren’t supposed to go full gay chicken!”

Armin fell back against the wall. He could still feel Jean’s lips. Something inside him felt suddenly hollow and aching. He tried to laugh with them but it fell short. He could hear it. They were too stoned to notice. Everybody but Ymir. He looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with her. The thing about Ymir was that she had scary eyes unless you stared long enough. All he saw was pity, then she looked at Jean and all he saw was annoyance.

They left a few hours later. The sun was beginning to set making the sky cotton candy pink. Uncharacteristically, Ymir had given Armin a quick hug before he left. She’d told him not to think about it too much and shoved him out the door.

Jean was already doing kickflips in the parking lot by the time Armin caught up with him. All Armin could do was stare at Jean’s figure, silhouetted by the sun, defy gravity. Jean looked up at him, “C’ mon. Let’s go. We can still make it to the skatepark before sunset.” He adjusted his board and started pulling away towards the main street. “I got a few ride tickets from my mom this morning that the little ones didn’t use over the weekend. Then we can get food before heading home.”

It sounded like a date. Armin wanted it to be a date. After so many years of ignoring his sexuality having to suddenly accept and admit it to himself was flooding him with wants he hadn’t known he had.

He was still where he’d been when Jean looked over his shoulder, “Are you coming or what, bro?”

“Oh,” Armin stepped forward and laid his board out in front of himself. “Yeah.”

As they rode Armin watched Jean’s back. He admired the way his body swayed back and forth as they took corners and the strong curve of his spine as he crouched to limit his air resistance.

When they got to the park Armin went straight for the far end, closest to the beach. The skatepark they frequented was right up against the beach and located on the south end of the local boardwalk. He leaned against the fence there and let his head loll back. Armin looked down his nose, across the park, to where Jean had just set up on a halfpipe. Armin watched him swoop down, gaining speed, then pivot back around. Jean did this for a while until he felt comfortable then he crouched and bounced his knees to find his center. He came up and Jean kickflipped his board mid air. It turned two full times before Jean steadied it and brought it back under his feet. He landed it then stood, smiling, as he skated off the halfpipe.

Armin bunched his shirt in his fist and sighed because it all fucking hurt. Maybe he had known the whole time he’d been denying it that it would hurt as much as it did.

 


	2. Hitting Asphalt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I said I'd see you sunday, but that's becuase I'm dumb. I actually meant saturday. Today. Today is saturday.  
> Let's keep this party going with another chapter driven by, well, teenage angst.  
> Also here are some fun things to look at. [This is kind of how I picture Jean's skateboard.](http://www.nativeskatestore.co.uk/images/death-matt-pritchard-sugar-skull-deck-7-5-p4836-9740_zoom.jpg) [And this is Armin's.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ba/fc/c1/bafcc11bcb9c096203ac21f188c19157.jpg)  
> Now, if you did look at the pictures you might be wondering, "Adri, why are their boards so different?" Well, sweet reader, it's because Armin doesn't skate like Jean. Jean does tricks as well as crusing. Armin just cruises. Can he do a kickflip? Yeah, Jean made him learn, but he doesn't devote himself to skating like Jean does so something that's longer for stability as well as caual riding is good enough for Armin.
> 
> Also make sure to check out the [fanart](http://imwello.tumblr.com/post/118688137519/heres-my-final-entry-for-jearmin-reverse-bang) for this piece and show some love!

~o~

Armin spent the better part of spring break ignoring Jean on the premise of illness. The only day he’d seen Jean after that first day was the following saturday for Jean’s competition. He’d gotten there just in time to watch Jean who ended up placing second. Armin walked around the back of the park and found Jean standing with two older men. The men smiled and congratulated him. They went as far to say that the judges had done a piss poor job of scoring his last trick. Armin rolled his eyes. More and more scouters were approaching Jean with each competition. Soon enough they’d be headhunting him.

“You know we’d love to sit down and talk with you and your parents about a possible sponsorship,” Armin heard one of them say as he approached. He sped up and stopped short of Jean on his board.

“Hi. I’m Armin,” he held out his hand.

They regarded him with reproach but shook his hand anyway. “We’re Zed and Smalls -

“-with Swing Back Boards,” Armin cut them off. “Yeah I know. I also know that you have a radical NRA member on your board and you guys made a huge donation to them during the last presidential election. Seems like big business for a skateboard company.”

Smalls raised his eyebrows. “You know this guy?” He asked Jean.

“Fortunately.” Jean smiled.

Zed coughed, “Who we have on our board doesn’t deter our interest in sponsoring Jean.”

Armin rolled his eyes. “Yeah but it does deter his interest in you.” The men just stood there and Armin narrowed his eyes. “He’s not interested.”

Smalls frowned. “Here’s our card anyway. Call us when you get rid of the lap dog.” Both of them turned around and Jean flipped them off.

“Thanks bro. I can always count on you.”

“Only because I know you aren’t researching the actual companies. All you hear is ‘sponsorship’ and you’re ready to sign yourself away.”

“Well, good thing I have you to hold me back.”

Armin nodded and things fell silent. Being around Jean was stifling. In reality he’d wanted to keep this short, but then the creeps had happened and now Jean probably wanted to just go with it. No matter how he made his excuse at this point it was going to be awkward. “Uh, I know we usually go out after your competitions but do you mind if I just go home?”

Jean looked up at him. His face was concerned and just slightly hurt. Honestly, it made Armin feel terrible but being around Jean made him feel like shit as it was. “You still feel sick?”

“Um, yeah. Not to mention we both have homework to get done before monday. So we probably can’t hang out tomorrow either.”

Jean set his board down and started circling Armin. “I could come over tomorrow and we could do it together.”

Armin could feel the blood moving through his heart and swallowed to calm himself. “I don’t know. I mean we both know if you come over you’re just going to copy my work.” He tried a smile.

Jean shoved his shoulder gently. “I get you. I’ll see you monday.”

Armin set his board down. “Yeah. Monday.” Jean waved after him as Armin left. Once he was on the main road the sky had descended into the blues and purples of a late evening. He’d lied to Jean and the reality of it set in. It wasn’t that he actually wanted to go home, in fact, he kind of just wanted to go find a place to mope. He turned away from the path he would have normally taken home and pushed off towards the skatepark him and Jean usually went to.

It hadn’t escaped Armin that going was risky. Jean was very liable to show up. However, he also knew that Jean didn’t always go after skating competitions. Armin bypassed the lingering people at the park and skated right to the fence on the opposite side. He put his fingers through the diamonds in the fence and held on tight as the ocean breeze blew his hair back from his face.

“Hey,” Armin jumped at the voice. He felt dumb when his board shot out from under his feet, but he was more concerned with how he might have been having a heart attack. He turned to look over his shoulder. The guy talking to him had put his hands up in a disarming manner. “Shit. Sorry. I just -” he smiled and dropped his arms. “You look like you could use some cheering up.”

Armin regarded him quietly as he stood up straight. He knew when people wanted things versus they had genuine concern. “I don’t mean to be rude but get to the point.”

The guy took his hat off and ran a hand through his curly blond hair. “That’s a hell of a way to ask somebody’s name.”

“I didn’t,” Armin jogged over to his board and glided back to him. “While we’re at it, though, you might as well tell me.”

“Devin,” he held out his fist to Armin.

Seeing no reason not to Armin bumped it back, “Armin.”

Devin pulled his sunglasses off his head and set them on his nose. It was in that moment that Armin recognized him. He’d never known his name but he had a reputation at the park. It wasn’t as the greatest, the best, or even the fastest. His reputation was for constantly rotating arm candy. The candy came in both male and female flavors, though, nobody could prove he was partial one way or the other. “You know, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while. You’re always with that other guy. You know, the one trying to go pro.”

Armin shyed away. “Yeah, Jean. What about him?”

“I mean,” Devin leaned in a little close to keep his voice low. “Aren’t you guys together?”

He couldn’t help the way his face turned red from the tip of his ears all the way down his neck. “I- I- We’re not-”

Devin took a step back, eyes wide, “Shit. Dude, I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t realize you weren’t out.”

Armin opened his mouth to retaliate but nothing came out. He gulped air like he’d been winded. “How did - how did you know?”

“Ah, fuck. Not only are you not out to people but you’re barely out to yourself.” Devin rubbed his eyes.

“You, uh, you okay?”

Devin sighed, “Yeah. Yeah I’m cool. Just trying to process. I mean I was on my way over here to hit on you but-”

Armin felt his cheeks go hot again and cut Devin off, “You were going to hit on me?”

“Well, I mean, you’re like really fucking hot?” Devin locked eyes with him like he was having trouble getting his thoughts together. He waved his arms in front of himself. “Now I realize I actually just stumbled into some Mr. Miyagi shit.”

“What?” Armin hit the ‘t’ hard as the word flew out of his mouth.

“Like, I don’t know. I’m basically your gay welcome wagon. I mean I’m not gay. I just want to put that on the table now. I’m bi, and my sexulaity is valid, New Gay.”

Armin collapsed with his back against the fence. “Am I really that obvious?”

Devin shrugged. “Probably only to others like us. I mean, I notice you check guys out because I check guys out. Ya know?”

He let out a sigh or relief. “So he probably doesn’t know then.”

“Who?” Devin sat and put his back against the fence.

Armin couldn’t be sure what it was. Maybe it was that there was no point in lying to somebody who’d already figured him out. Maybe it was because he had nobody else to talk about it with. “Jean. The guy who wants to go pro.”

“Ah, fuck.”

“What?”

Devin shook his head. “Numero uno of your gay decadence,” he shoved a finger into Armin’s field of vision, “never fall for a straight guy.”

Armin paled. He hadn’t said it with any particular inflection so he was left to believe that Devin was just that good. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even realize until earlier this week.”

“Sounds about right. It happens to everybody.” He paused and the sound of the tide drifted between them. “It happened to me when I was fifteen. I was dating his girl named Casey. She had tits I just wanted to bury my face in.”

He looked to Armin with a goofy smile. Armin laughed at him, “Nice man. Real nice.”

“They were! Anyway, she had an older cousin who was living with them. One day we were just chillin at her house when he walked out of the bathroom naked. He had no clue anybody was home. He was just, so, so godly looking. He was tone all over and I just - I wanted him. Maybe different from the way I wanted Casey, but I still wanted. So, BAM! There I am. Fifteen. Confused as shit. And now I’m having a crisis about my sexuality. You know what I did?”

Armin snorted, “Broke up with Casey?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not what I was going to say. I said ‘Fuck him!’ And I did. Literally. I thought to myself, fuck this isn’t a tragic secret it’s a fucking way for me to express myself.” He hit his knee against Armin’s, “You should find a similar mindset.”

“It’s just so new.” Armin pushed his hair behind his ear. “I mean, I guess, part of me always knew, but I never wanted to say it, or think about, or accept it. Then I just had to all at once. I’m still choking on it like taking a shot of whiskey without a chaser.”

Devin held out his fist, “Whiskey. My man.”

Armin tapped his fist to Devin’s.

“So,” Devin dragged the word out. “Are you going to tell me about what happened or what?”

Not being able to help himself Armin grinned. “I guess it starts with him eating shit outside my house and ends with him going too far in a game of gay chicken.”

~o~

_Armin had just gotten back from summer class. The PE equivalent was an eight hour course, five days a week, for four weeks that was only coordinated sport after coordinated sport. It wasn’t the best thing for Armin who felt too self conscious to talk to guys and too conscious of what guys might think if he only hung out with girls. In short, he spent all their breaks sitting in the shade, alone, with a book._

_This particular day had been field hockey day and it’d been much more physically demanding than he’d anticipated. It hadn’t helped that his parents weren’t available to pick him up so he’d had to walk the two miles home. With his last burst of energy he had collapsed on to his lawn, face down. When he finally rolled onto his back he stared up at the sky. He could see the moon even though it was still daylight. The crickets were starting up and every once in a while he could hear a sedan drive by. Then he heard something not entirely familiar. It was rolling plastic over the loose asphalt that lined the neighborhood. Curious, he sat up._

_Seeing the source of the noise had clicked into place what the noise was in the first place. It made sense that it was a skateboard rolling along the street. The guy on the skateboard had golden tan skin, a strong hispanic nose, and a two tone undercut hairstyle. The rider was solid and confident as he bounced on his knees then, suddenly, kicked his board up in the air. Armin’s eyes went wide as the rider landed low on his board. His path snaked for a moment as he regained his balance then pushed himself up straight._

_He was just starting to pass Armin’s lawn when he turned his head away from the road to look at the creep staring at him. Armin blinked and looked away shyly. It didn’t stop him from looking back up to where the skateboarder was still staring at him. The guy smiled and had just began to raise his hand to wave when his front wheel caught a rock. He flew forward and skidded across the rough gravel about a foot before stopping._

_For a moment, all Armin could do was stare in shock. Then he heard wet hissing and his sprinklers popped up, ready to work. “Crap! Crap! Crap!” Armin scrambled up and off his lawn. Armin was looking at his lawn when the guy spoke._

_“And here I thought you were concerned for my well being.”_

_Armin whipped his head around. “Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry.” He stepped forward and held out his hand to help the guy stand. “Are you okay?”_

_He took Armin’s hand and hissed as he stood. “Nope. Don’t think I am.”_

_Armin looked at the rider’s leg and upper arm. Both areas were pretty badly scratched up with pieces of asphalt embedded in the wound. His face must have given him away because the guy looked down at his calf. “Oh. That’s not good.”_

_“No. It’s not.” Armin ran his tongue over his lip. “My mom’s a nurse. She should be home in a bit. But, uh, I could help you clean it up in the mean time.”_

_The guy stared at him with his eyebrows raised. “You’re going to let a stranger into your house?”_

_Armin blushed because he couldn’t deny the logic just presented to him. “Yeah. I guess I am.”_

_The guy followed him inside to his parents bathroom. Armin sat on the edge of the tub and the stranger sat on his mom’s vanity chair. “Here,” Armin handed him some gauze. “Apply pressure to your leg. It’s bleeding pretty badly.”_

_He did as told. “So, what’s your name?” He asked as Armin popped open the first aid kit._

_“Oh, um, Armin.”_

_“Armin,” he rolled it over in his mouth. “That’s a strange name. Strange, but cool.”_

_Armin felt his cheeks go red. “Thank you.” The guy looked at him expectantly, “Oh! What’s you’re name?”_

_“Jean,” he smiled and Armin swallowed to drown the not there butterflies._

_“Oh,” Armin said quietly. “French?”_

_Jean shrugged. “I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure my mom just liked the name.”_

_Armin found the tweezers. “Could you move closer?”_

_“Oh sure.” Jean picked the chair up and set it almost between Armin’s legs._

_He started with the shoulder. Using the tweezers he picked out the debris that he could see. He’d let his mom look at it when she got home. He used gauze to apply pressure to the sluggishly bleeding wound and cleared it away so he could see scratches. “Good news. I don’t think you need stitches.”  He looked at the tiles around Jean’s foot. There was a small pool of blood forming. “Your leg might be a different story.” Armin pulled out the antibacterial spray, “This might hurt.”_

_Jean winced as the spray landed on his arm. “So are you good at this because your mom’s a nurse?”_

_Armin shrugged. “Maybe. My mom’s side of the family are all doctors, nurses, and surgeons. So, I don’t know, maybe it’s destiny.”_

_“Are you going to be a doctor?”_

_He nodded. “Yeah. Put your leg on the tub” Armin coaxed Jean’s hand away and he removed the pressure. “These should really be sterile,” he said to himself as he turned the tweezers over in his hand._

_“Hey, you know what they say. ‘A little dirt don’t hurt.’”_

_Armin snorted as he began picking out the debris. Most of it came out easy until he found himself on Jean’s upper calf. He tugged._

_“Ow.”_

_Armin looked up at Jean. “You okay?”_

_Jean nodded. “Yeah. You just surprised me.”_

_He cleared away the blood from around the leg wound and sat up straight to look at it. “You might need a stitch here.” Armin put his finger next to the still bleeding wound on the outside of Jean’s leg right under the kneecap. “Everything else looks superficial.”_

_“You’re superficial.”_

_Armin sat up quickly and tried to hide his shock. He began to recount their interactions to pinpoint the moment he would have made Jean think that._

_“Dude,” Jean laughed. “I was just kidding. You know a joke.”_

_He felt dumb. “Sorry. I don’t really have a ton of friends.”_

_Jean’s eyebrows scrunched up. “Why not?”_

_“We just moved here a few months ago. I didn’t really have too many friends back in Brooklyn either, though.”_

_Jean smiled and Armin took the opportunity to spray his leg. “Holy shit. You’re from New York?”_

_Armin blushed because it wasn’t really that cool. “Yeah.”_

_Jean leaned back in his chair. “Dude that must have been so cool! I want to get there someday.” He paused. “You know, you said you’re going to be a doctor.”_

_“Yeah, I did just say that.”_

_“Well, I’m going to be a pro skateboarder.”_

_Something about Jean’s passion was admirable. “Well, you seem really good. Despite you falling.”_

_Jean laughed. “I only fell because I was trying to figure out why it looked like you just got home from school!”_

_“Summer classes.”_

_“You’re not going to be a doctor if you’re failing classes. Just sayin’.”_

_Armin pushed his hair behind his ear. “I didn’t fail. I asked to take them.”_

_Jean’s face twisted in disgust. “Why would you do that?”_

_“If I get rid of my PE class I can take an extra science course.”_

_“But what about summer? Summer parties. Summer nights. Summer days. Summer girls. Summer barbeques. Don’t you miss out on that?”_

_“Maybe. But, like I said, no friends. You’re probably the first person I talked to who’s my age since school let out.”_

_“Armin!” Jean turned towards the door that lead to the master suite then back to Armin._

_“That’s my mom.”_

_“Armin,” she called again. “Why is there blood everywhere?”_

_“Is she going to be mad I’m in her room?”_

_Armin shook his head ‘no.’ “I’m in here mom!”_

_His mother swooped in and dropped her backpack. “Oh,” She stopped short and took in the situation. “Who’s this?”_

_“This is Jean. He fell off his skateboard outside. That’s why the blood is in the hall.”_

_Jean turned his body as if to demonstrate the need for him being in her house. “Oh. Oh, dear. That’s going to need stitches,” she said as her eyes fell on Jean’s leg. She sighed. “Let me to grab my kit from the car.” She walked out of the bathroom leaving them alone. “I’ll introduce myself when I get back!” She called from the front door._

_“Hey, so, I know we just met but we should hang out.”_

_Armin tried to hide his apprehension. “But, we just met.”_

_“I, literally, just said that.” Jean chuckled. “I’m just saying you’re a good person to have around if I’m going to get hurt. Not to mention I could teach you to do it.”_

_Armin’s eyes went wide. “Do what?”_

_“Skateboard! I mean this is going to sound dumb but like having a hobby like this opens up a new world of possibilities for friends.”_

_He found himself nodding before he’d even consciously made up his mind._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, party people I will now leave you with the main conflict. Which isn't entirely caused by misunderstadning but rather Armin's fear of losing his bestie.  
> If this were an acutal party this chapter would have been the girl who came to the party upset and is making no effort to feel better.  
> I will see y'all on Monday.


	3. A Resounding 'Oh'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy, happy monday!  
> Yesterday I took my mother to Venice Beach for mother's day. I wish I had that skate park as a refrence before writing this! It was sooooo cool!
> 
> The art for this fanfiction has been posted! I linked it in the previous chapters as well.
> 
> [Here's the fanart that started it all!](http://imwello.tumblr.com/post/118688137519/heres-my-final-entry-for-jearmin-reverse-bang)

~o~

Jean leaned against the railing at the top of the halfpipe and looked across the park to where Armin was sitting with the park’s lady killer, also, maybe, boy killer. He didn’t know and he didn’t care about that. What he did care about, however, was that _Armin_ was hanging out with him. Okay, that wasn’t right either. It wasn’t that he cared that Armin was _hanging out_ with person killer, it was that Armin was not hanging out with _Jean_.

Even that didn’t bother him, if he was being honest. Armin hung out with other people plenty. He supposed, though, if it was broken down into percentages, Armin probably spent eighty-five percent of his free time with Jean. In the last two weeks Armin had spent less than ten percent of his time chilling with Jean.

It’d started on the monday they had gotten back from break. Armin sat with their group at lunch, but he hadn’t sat in his usual spot. Which, all in all, wasn’t too strange, just annoying because that meant Jean had to sit by Chuy. Then Armin made an excuse to leave early so they hadn’t walked to class together. The rest of the week Armin had insisted that he was going to be in the anatomy room for extra help. It had, truly, been then that Jean knew something was off. Armin knew anatomy like the back of his hand, literally. Really, though, Armin had been studying anatomy on his own since freshman year. If Armin was going to avoid him Jean thought he could have come up with a better excuse.

As if the whole situation of his friend, no, his _best_ friend, avoiding him wasn’t bad enough, now, he was hanging out with a possible predator. _That_ had happened at the beginning of that week. After, essentially, not seeing Armin for more than seven days Jean had come to their regular park and Armin was sitting over by the stairs with what’s-his-face.

“Stop staring at him. He’ll get the wrong idea.” Ymir said and spit off the side of the halfpipe.

“Tch.” Jean balanced his board on the edge of the slope. “I don’t know why the fuck he’s mad at me! He won’t answer my texts, at school he avoids me like I have rabies, and now this?” Jean gestured across the park. “He has to be looking to get fucking eaten.” He looked to Ymir for understanding. “Doesn’t he know that guy is _into_ guys?” Ymir looked unmoved. “ **Guys** , Ymir!”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Get your head out of your ass, Jean. Maybe, this isn’t about you. Did you think of that? From where I’m standing you’re over here, bitching, might I add, and Armin is over there because, whatever he’s going through, you’re too much of an ass to give a shit about.” Ymir dropped down the halfpipe and skated off to the side.

“What the fuck? Where are you going?”

She looked over her shoulder. “I told Christa I’d come over.”

Jean scoffed. “Try not to drown!”

Ymir flipped him off without looking back.

He looked around. It was a friday afternoon. Him and Armin should have been at the fucking boardwalk or something. The day felt like a bust and the sun hadn’t even started to set yet. However, Ymir was right. He hadn’t attempted to talk to Armin and what better reason than to remind him of his competition.

Jean dropped down the halfpipe, skated right into the bowl and came out on the other side to where Armin was sitting with dickhead. Armin was sitting on the wall that ran parallel to the stairs his new friend was sitting on. The two of them were laughing at something. Dickhead saw him first and hit Armin’s knee with the back of his hand. Armin stopped and looked up. “Oh.”

He almost turned around. A surprised ‘oh’ in the middle of a park they both frequented seemed more than unnecessary. “Hey, ‘Min.”

“Hey.” Armin’s voice was small.

Jean nodded to himself. “Who’s your friend?”

Armin squared up, “This is Devin.”

“Oh.” Jean didn’t know what he’d expected. It’s not like Armin was going to magically explain _why_ Devin existed in their lives, or _who_ Devin was to Armin. He looked to Devin and saw that Devin was looking him up and down, but not in a way that suggested he was interested. No, it was more like he was looking to see what all the fuss was about. Jean turned back to Armin. “So, uh, I have a competition tomorrow. It’s not far. Only across town.”

“That’s good for you, Jean.” Armin’s voice sounded like every word was chosen to be as unreadable as possible.

Jean scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, um, are you going to be there?”

Armin looked to Devin and something passed between them. Devin shrugged and then Armin looked back to him. “I’ll try. Okay?”

“Da fuck.” Jean whispered to himself as he took in what had just happened.

“Excuse me?” Armin quirked his eyebrow.

Jean shook his head. “Whatever man. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pushed off toward the edge of the park with a scowl on his face. Jean had just turned outside the gates when a young woman jumped in his path. “Holy shit!” He swerved to miss her. “What the fuck lady?”

“Sorry! Sorry,” she adjusted her glasses. The lady had long auburn hair and a nerdy, intern look to her. “Let’s start again. I’m Sasha. I represent Postscript Skateboarding.”

Jean picked up his board. “No shit?” Postscript was in Armin’s top three picks for him as far as sponsors went.

“No, none of that.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “You’re Jean, right?”

“Yeah, yeah I am,“ he held out his hand and she shook it.

Sasha smiled. “Excellent. Listen. My company is looking to sponsor a handful more riders by the end of the year. We’ve been following your video account for a while now. I was actually supposed to come talk to you before your last competition but I got sick and then my cat - you know what never mind. The point is that I’m just the pencil pusher. The people that make the actual decisions about these offers don’t like to meet with prospects unless they have to. Unless, they know the person they’re going to see is interested. They _are_ interested in you and a few more people in this area. Not that you need to worry.”

“What are you getting at?” Jean tried to sound calm. Usually, Armin was there to deal with this. In retrospect, Armin always just told off the company reps and would say something like _you’re better than what they represent_.

“Well, like I said, they don’t like to meet off the bat. But, there is a really large skating event at the end of the month. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Triple X Effect?”

Jean swallowed to prevent giving himself away. Of course he’d heard of TXE, it was the biggest regional skateboarding competition. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it.”

“Great! The rest of the riders they’re interested in will be there as well. If you can be there you’ll be in the running for one of the sponsorship spots.”

“You’re saying that if I got my ass to TXE I would have a chance for a sponsorship with Postscript?”

Sasha nodded. “Well, yeah. Postscript was born in this county-”

“Yeah, I know. Right here in this area code actually.” Armin had drilled that into him.

“So, you know our product?”

Jean tried not to spaz, “Lady, I only use Postscript boards.”

“Awesome, you know so much! But, what I was saying is that they want to sponsor local talent. All you have to do is do better than the other people who are also in the running at TXE.”

Everything felt suddenly far away as if he wasn’t in the moment but rather in a glass case watching the moment.

“If you can do that, you’ll have our sponsorship.”

~o~

Armin fell back on the wall and pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes. God, he’d been a fucking asshole when talking to Jean.

“Dude,” Devin said. “That was brutal.”

“Yeah, I fucking know.”

“He looked like a kicked puppy.”

Armin sighed. “Yeah, thanks man.”

“Are you going to keep avoiding him?” Devin just didn’t know when to quit.

Armin sat up. “I don’t want to. But, I mean, I also can’t be around him. It’s like a huge slap to my face just seeing him.”

Devin let out a deep breath. “Have you considered _telling_ him?”

Armin snapped his head to Devin. “Are you fucking insane?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I was under the impression that in order to get results in anything you actually had to _do_ something about it.”

Armin let his shoulders slump, “If I tell him everything between us,” he pauses. “It’ll be ruined.”

Devin nodded in understanding. “You ever have a friend hit on you? Like, really obviously.”

Armin snorted. “No.”

“Sure you have you just haven’t noticed because you’re only interested in this guy. Let’s try something else, how would you have felt if I hit on you and you hadn’t been gay?”

Armin twisted his face in thought. “I don’t know. I probably would have said no thank you and carried on.”

“Right. You know why?” Armin didn’t answer, they’d only been hanging out a few weeks but he’d already learned that Devin enjoyed rhetorical questions. “Because you’re a decent fucking person. Don’t you hang out with decent people?”

He wasn’t convinced and Devin could tell.

“Look at it this way then, I mean if you already _don’t_ think he’s a decent person; you’re going to fuck your friendship with him either way. Just, if you choose to ignore him you have no chance. At least there’s a ray of hope if you grow some balls.”

“You make everything sound so easy.”

Devin shrugged. “It’s a talent, really. Hey, look.”

Armin followed Devin’s gaze to the edge of the park. Jean was standing with a woman looking dumbstruck.

“Who’s that?”

“I can’t tell from here but it looks like Postscript’s scout.” He sat up straight. His heart was pounding. This was the company Armin had been waiting to approach Jean. They were local and growing, they’d had profit every quarter for the last five years, and they had a large liberal undertone.

Devin looked between the scene and Armin, “Didn’t you say something about basically being his advisor?”

Armin nodded. “He has to learn to do it on his own. I’ve told him enough about Postscript that he should be able to handle this.”

“He looks like he’s panicking,” Devin pointed out.

Armin jumped off the wall. His nerves told him to go over there but his mind wouldn’t let him move. The lady smiled and handed Jean a card before walking off. Jean just stared at his hands also unable to move. It wasn’t until he almost got hit by a careless beach goer with a large cooler did Jean leave.

“Are you going to go tomorrow?”

Armin licked his lips and frowned. “I’m still working on growing those balls you were talking about.”

~o~

_“Jean this is crazy,” Armin was standing in his doorway looking at the guy he’d met earlier that month. Jean was holding two skateboards and a helmet._

_“It’s not **that** crazy.” Armin remained unmoved. “C’ mon, it’s not as hard as it looks.”_

_Armin sighed. “That’s not the problem. It looks easy to me, which should be more concerning.”_

_“How?”_

_“Because whenever people with no experience look at things that require skill and think it looks easy they are setting themselves up for failure.”_

_Jean scrunched his nose. “I’ll I’m hearing is that it’s going to take a while to teach you.” Armin shifted his weight. “If you come I’ll buy you lunch.”_

_“Now you’re bribing me?” Armin sighed. “Let me get dressed.” He closed his door and collapsed against it. Hanging out with Jean had been easy to agree to before but he’d hardly expected him to follow up on it._

_A few minutes later he emerged wearing plain jeans, some shoes his mom bought him, and a zip up hoodie. Jean blinked at him. “This is how you dress?”_

_Armin blushed, “What’s wrong with the way I dress?”_

_“Nothing, just, what are you saying with that?”_

_He looked down at himself. “I don’t know. Nothing I guess.”_

_Jean nodded. “You know what my mom tells me?” Armin shook his head. “‘Niño, people in life see you once before they decide how they feel and while that feeling can change there will always be the lingering ghost of that first impression.’ She says it in spanish but that’s the jist.” He shrugged. “So I guess my question is, what do you want to say?”_

_Armin looked down at himself. “I don’t know. Maybe that I’m friendly?”_

_“Good!” Jean came over and clapped Armin on his shoulder. “Friendly means approachable. Right?”_

_He tugged at his sweater in the middle of summer. “I guess that’s not what I’m saying.”_

_“C’mon, what’s under that sweater.”_

_Armin unzipped his sweater as he apologized, “Sorry, it doesn’t look very good.” He bunched the sweater up and opened the door to toss it back inside._

_Jean beamed, “Nah, dude, you look good!” Armin blushed, he was just wearing a green Mountain Dew shirt. “Now come on, by the end of the day you should be rolling like a champ!”_

_Though Armin didn’t believe him, he followed Jean anyway. He walked and Jean glided along slowly enough that Armin didn’t feel like too much of a hinderance. When they got to the park Armin felt his eyes go wide. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but it hadn’t been the sheer volume of people._

_He felt apprehension in the pit of his stomach. “Jean there’s a lot of people.”_

_Jean stopped like he hadn’t considered this. “Yeah, so?”_

_Armin swallowed. “What if I embarrass myself?”_

_Something like sympathy fell over Jean’s face, like he understood the concept of embarrassment but not in this setting. Armin almost thought Jean was about to dismiss his worries. He scratched the back of his head and looked out to survey the people. “Yeah, you’re right there is a lot of people.” Jean looked back to Armin, “It’s cool, I didn’t really wanna hang out here anyway.” Jean turned tail and Armin followed. Jean took them down an overgrown dirt path on the side of the skatepark. The angle increased suddenly and they were making a dramatic descent into the foliage. When they emerged Armin found that they were on a paved landing that overlooked the ocean._

_“Wow. This is beautiful,” Armin stared in awe._

_Jean smiled. “Yep. It’s not like Brooklyn. Here,” Jean slapped the helmet onto Armin’s head. “For safety.” He dropped his spare board  in the soft dirt in front of the pavement._

_“Jean -” Armin began to protest._

_“Nope. Don’t say anything until you try it.” He waved Armin over. “First we have to figure out your stance. Now,” Jean threw his hands out. “Imagine you’re riding down the boardwalk on a gorgeous summer day. Really imagine it. The wind, the sun, the surf, the click-clack of your wheels. You got it?”_

_Armin swallowed. “Sure.”_

_“Great now get on your board just like how you were in your head.”_

_Armin stepped onto the board and pivoted so his right foot would be the front._

_Jean’s smile stretched across his face. “Awesome, you’re a goofy!”_

_“A what?”_

_“It just means you ride with your right foot forward.” Jean walked around him, “Now the easiest way to start is by having your front foot on your front bolts and your back on your back bolts.”_

_Armin looked down and adjusted._

_“Just remember this is a generic way to stand. The more you ride the less you’ll ride like that.”_

_“Okay.” Armin watched him pace around him one more time._

_“Yeah. Okay. Now do you feel balanced?”_

_Armin bounced on his knees. “Yeah. I guess.”_

_Jean nodded. “Alright. Now, don’t freak out, were going to work on turning. Well, at least the feeling of turning. Just lean toeside”_

_He leaned forward stiffly and lost his balance._

_“No no no. Like this.” Jean dropped his board so he was facing Armin. He bent his knees, leaned forward slightly, and turned his upper body inwards. He looked up to make sure Armin was watching. “Now you try.”_

_Now that he’d been shown he understood, but that didn’t make it any less physical._

_“Good,” Jean praised him. “Now going the other way is just the opposite. Keep your knees the same way but lean back and turn outward.” Jean did as he said then watched Armin mimic him. “Good. We can’t stay in the dirt forever though. Let’s get you on the cement._

_Armin felt worried but Jean was patient teacher so he followed._

_“Okay, set your board down here.” Armin did as told. Jean came around to the other side of Armin’s board and held his hands up. “You’re going to need something to hold onto.”_

_He felt his heart in his chest and could heard the blood in his ears. “Okay.” Armin laced his fingers with Jean’s then stepped onto the board. He wobbled a bit but eventually he stabilized._

_“Feel good?”_

_“Yeah,” Armin smiled because he really did feel good about this._

_“Awesome. Now just push off from my hands.”_

_Armin looked at Jean’s face. He was concentrated and serious. He didn’t want to disappoint. Armin pushed against Jean’s hands and let go. He started rolling forward. He struggled with his balance for a moment but found it just as the board was slowing down. He looked back over his shoulder and beamed. “Holy shit. I - I did it!”_

_Jean laughed a little. “Yeah man. Told you, you could.”_

_Armin picked the board up and jogged back over to Jean. “Let’ do it again!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's see, two more chapters, the last one will be on friday! What a way to end the week!
> 
> Never forget that just like the street preformers of Venice Beach artists and fanfiction writers work for tips! Tips in the form of comments and kudos!
> 
> Now, if you like what you read maybe check out one of these: [1](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2828480), [2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2793734/chapters/6270446), or [3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3444791)


	4. Skateboard Beatdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Content Notice:** As a responsible writer I have to tell you that a gay slur is used in purposely hurtful manner by a stupid, angry teenage boy in this chapter. If you think I'm a terrible person for having a character say that, well, IDK, have you met a teenage boy?
> 
> That being said, Happy Wednesday!
> 
> I bring to you the climax of this story! Next update will be the 'falling action'/'resolution'. Thank you public education!

~o~

Jean looked out over the crowd before he did his final trick on the half pipe. He wanted something smooth and clean. Not to mention safe because the last thing he needed was to break something before TXE. Armin always sat in the same place at competitions no matter where they were. He would sit on the side closest to the longest rail. Rails were Jean’s favorite and where he did his best tricks so it was the best place to film from.

He hesitated only a moment looking for Armin but he didn’t see him.  He kickflipped his board as he jumped off the ledge and landed on the descent. In the end, he place first but the win was only laced with anger. He went through the motions of the award ceremony, his family took him out to dinner but he ate less than he talked, when he got home he turned to look down the street. “I’ll be back Mom,” he called and didn’t wait for a reply before taking off down the street towards Armin’s house.

Their neighborhood was set up in rolling hills with ranch style housing. He had to skate down two small hill to get to Armin’s section of the development. He skidded to a stop on his board outside Armin’s house and kicked it up to grab it. He bounded through the grass and knocked on the front door. A moment later Armin’s mom answered.

“Jean?” Her eyes went wide. “Oh lord. You’re not hurt are you? I told you I can’t be patching you up all the time.”

“What? No, Mrs. Arlert. I’m fine. Uh, is Armin here?”

She leaned against the doorframe. “No, he’s been out most of the day. I’m sure he’ll be back soon if you want to wait.”

Jean shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Have a good night, Mrs. Arlert.” He jogged across the lawn to the street and laid his board out. He wasn’t sure why he was looking for Armin. All he knew was that he was hurt and angry and for fucks sake Armin was supposed to be his best fucking friend and what he done had hurt. What he was _doing_ hurt.

The skatepark was still very lively being a saturday night. The large flood lights lit up the course. At first he didn’t see Armin but as he came closer he saw he wasn’t in the park at all, but outside the gate grabbing a hotdog from a cart vendor. His new watchdog was nowhere to be found. Jean hopped off his board and picked it up as he approached Armin. The vendor had just started making Armin’s food when he grabbed Armin by the wrist.

Armin was caught off guard and stumbled when Jean pulled him. “What the - Jean?” He didn’t respond. Armin’s wrist was warm in his hand and, jesus fuck, that should not have been preoccupying his mind!

“He’ll be back!” Jean called over his shoulder to the vendor.

Armin tried to tug his arm back, “Jean, let go!”

In the back of his mind he knew he was probably being an asshole but they were so close. He took them down the dirt path next to the skatepark. It’d been years since they had last been here. It was different at night, the foliage seemed threatening and he wasn’t sure how far out the ledge was.

“Jean,” Armin’s voice startled him. “Let go of my arm. You’re _hurting_ me.”

He did. He felt his mouth set into a thin line.

“Are you going to tell me why we’re here or are you going to keep staring at me?”

It felt like fire when he spoke, “Why weren’t you there?” He wasn’t sure if he heard anger or sadness in his voice.

“I was busy.” Armin sounded flat. It was the tone he used with the sponsors, the teachers whose grading he didn’t agree with, it was not the tone he used with Jean.

“You’re mom said you’ve been gone all day.”

If he had taken a second to really look at Armin he would have seen how sorry he was, how emotionally confused he was, but he didn’t any of that. All he could feel was the knot in his stomach below where he’d fisted his shirt. “My previous statement stands. I was busy.”

“Oh! Cut the bullshit Armin! I know what you’re really doing.” His chest felt tight as he watched how Armin’s face turned defensive.

“Yeah, Jean? What the fuck do you think I’m doing?”

He regretted it before he said it, he even regretted it when he thought it. He was hurt and angry but in the end that didn’t apologize for what he said. “You’re walking around like a bitch boy with that faggot.”

The emotions that flashed on Armin’s face made his breath catch. First there was shock followed by something akin to sad desperation. His face dissolved to anger. Armin’s nostrils flared and his mouth screwed itself into a thin line. Jean thought for sure that Armin was going to stay quiet. He’d seen Armin angry before and that’s what usually happened, he closed up.

“What the fuck do you know about Devin! You don’t know shit Jean! I don’t know what to say to you! Yeah, I’m avoiding you! Is that what you want to hear! You probably want to know why, too! Well, guess what, Jean! _This_ faggot doesn’t have to tell you shit!”

The silence that followed Armin’s rage was thick. Jean’s mouth hung open as he was unsure how to proceed. His brain turned over what Armin said. He pushed aside Armin defending Devin, saw past Armin confirming what Jean had feared and then he finally found his words. “Armin, you’re gay?”

It was as if Armin was just hearing it for the first time. His face crumbled into fear and Jean realized Armin was afraid of him. He didn’t understand why, though. His mind worked to wrap around this new information but it kept slipping out of his grip. Armin couldn’t be gay. He’d never said anything before this moment. He’d never hinted or even gave Jean enough information to suspect.

Jean thought back. He'd picked up the pieces over the last couple weeks to try and figure out the situation with Armin, but he’d had no luck fitting them together. Until now, that was. It all fell into place. It was dumb, really. Jean had kissed Armin and now Armin thought he was gay. He swallowed, it was his fault.

His body reacted before his mind had even caught up to what the plan was. He grabbed Armin by the shirt and tugged him close and yanked him up towards his face. Armin gasped and then Jean’s lips were on his. Jean noticed things he hadn’t when he was high. Armin’s lips were soft and warm. He squirmed for a fraction of a second and then he felt Armin relax and lean forward just enough to keep him on his toes, within kissing distance of Jean.

He let go of Armin’s shirt and put his hand on his cheek as he angled their faces better. Armin let out a shaky breath and Jean ghosted the tip of his tongue between his lips. Jean found his hand in Armin’s hair and, Jesus, he never imagined it’d be so soft. He’d never imagined it, period, but then again, maybe he had, because something about kissing Armin felt familiar.

Jean drew back feeling his point had been made. Armin’s eyes fluttered open and his blond lashes threatened hit his flushed cheeks. He pushed Armin back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “See, Armin, you’re not gay. It was only a kiss.”

Armin’s face fell and, of all things, Armin looked like he was going to cry. Jean could see him physically shaking and then Armin screamed loud and angry. He felt the board before he saw it. Armin hit him in the arm and side repeatedly with the top side of his long board. “Fuck you!”

Jean crouched away from the blows. “Jesus, ‘Min.”

Armin’s voice was pained. “Fuck you, Jean. Fuck you for doing this to me! You don’t get to tell me what I am! You don’t get to tell me what I feel for you is invalid! You get every part of me, but you don’t get this!”

“‘Min! ‘Min! Armin! You’re hurting me!”

Armin stopped mid attack. Jean looked up and saw that he was crying but his eyes were angry. He didn’t look sorry, he looked betrayed. Armin turned on his heel and sprinted up the slope. He didn’t have any parting words to make Jean think, like in the movies. Armin just left him and the longer Jean sat there, reassesing the fight they just had, the more he thought he probably deserved it.

~o~

Armin ran. His feet pounded against the ground so hard it hurt his knees. Objectively, he knew he could skate, but something about the burn in his chest as his lungs worked to fill with oxygen was keeping him together.

“Armin?”

He didn’t stop but then suddenly Devin was at his side. He slid his board to a stop in front of Armin and Armin was forced to stop as well.

“Geez, you run fast.” Devin heaved. “I saw you go off with Jean. You okay?” He lifted Armin’s chin. “Aw, dude. You look gross.”

Armin wiped the snot off his face and rubbed at the tears drying on his face. “He kissed me. Again.”

Devin pushed his eyebrows together, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

He laughed without humor. “I thought so. For a second I thought he,” Armin gasped. “You know I thought maybe he _wanted_ me,” his voice cracked over his words. He felt dumb and used. “But he just pushed me away and told me kissing him didn’t mean anything? Like, he’s the one who gets to decide if it means something? Like, he can just basically tell me I’m not,” he licked his lips, “That I’m _not_ gay?”

Devin put a hand on his shoulder and then tugged Armin close for a hug. “I’m sorry man. You don’t deserve this.”

“Why did I have to love him? Of all the men in the world it had to be my best friend.” Armin tried to take an even breath and failed. “Why couldn’t it just be easy?”

~o~

Jean’s side was bruised. He poked at it in the mirror. He’d told his mom he’d fallen off his board doing a trick, but he was okay. It was the week before the TXE event. Jean had spent all his free time working on his routine. It’d also meant that he didn’t have to think about how Armin had missed half a week of school. Not that he’d seen Armin, but he’d heard from some reliable sources that Armin had come back on thursday.

At school he didn’t talk much. Chuy and Skitter had stopped ragging on him midweek about it. Ymir just looked at him with careful annoyance.

He sighed and tugged on a shirt. Leaving his house for Ymir’s he took the long way and rode past Armin’s. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Armin in the front yard just home from summer school? That would have been nice, maybe they could have started over. Maybe, he could have found a better way.

Ymir answered her door swiftly and let Jean in. It was only them today. Her girlfriend was out of town and the guys had all managed to get tickets for the amusement park fifty miles upstate.

Jean collapsed on her bed and sighed. He could feel her staring at him from her doorway. He sat part way up and looked over, “Tch. What?”

“Don’t bullshit me.” Ymir crossed the room and sat backwards on her computer chair.

He sat up to face her. “What am I bullshitting you about?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ve been a bitch all week. Before you were just angry about Armin now you’re sad. You think I haven’t noticed? We’ve been friends since middle school, I know when something is actually wrong with you because you stop being an asshole and you shut up.” Jean didn’t budge. “Fine. What happened with Armin?” Ymir demanded.

Jean groaned. “I - I - Jesus, I don’t even know what happened with Armin! I just - I was mad after my last competition because he didn’t show up. He always shows up Ymir! But he didn’t and he didn’t because he was hanging you with this _Devin_ guy. What kind of name is Devin anyway? So I pulled him off to the side and laid into him a bit. He tells me he didn’t show up because he was busy. And, I don’t know, asshole me just took over. I called his friend the f-double-g word and then, next thing I know, Armin’s telling me he’s gay! Like, _gay_ gay. So I think he thinks this because I kissed him so the only reasonable thing I can think to do is kiss him to show him it’s not a big deal. And I mean I kissed him. I _really_ kissed him. But, then, he gets mad at me because apparently he has feelings for me and that’s why he’s been avoiding me. And, like, I don’t know why I did it, Ymir! But I can’t stop thinking about it!”

Ymir’s face remained impassive as she grabbed her notebook and started swatting Jean with it. “Are you a fucking moron? How the fuck did you not know Armin was gay?”

“Ow! Ow! I’m already bruised from him beating me. Wait, you knew Armin was gay?”

Ymir dropped the notebook. “Well, yeah. Us queer kids just have a sense about us.”

“How long have you known?”

“Probably since before I met him?”

Jean raised his brow, “Your gaydar can’t be that good.”

Ymir rubbed her face. “Look, Jean, we’re really good friends so I’m going to be honest. I thought you two we’re in a relationship when you first started bringing him around.”

“Wait, what?

Ymir stretched. “Let me tell you about your’s and Armin’s relationship from my perspective. First you start telling me about this guy you’ve been seeing at school who you’ve never seen before. You have, like, this obsession with how smart and cool he looks. Like, that’s all you say about him even though you’ve never talked to him. So, then you spend the first month of summer headhunting him because you _think_ he lives in your neighborhood. Against all odds he does and you find him. When you find him you eat shit, which you don’t do doing basic shit like rolling along.”

She takes a breath, “Then every time I want to hang out you say you’re busy with Armin, which whatever, you have other friends. It’s cool. But looking back on it now it’s like keeping the person you’re dating from your friends until it’s stable. Like I did with Christa. But, then, when we do hang out all you do is talk about him. Him and how he’s so funny when he’s embarrassed. Him and how he’s way too smart to be hanging out with you. And during this time you are teaching him to _skateboard_ , which is the most important thing to you. I mean you’ve had girlfriends and shit and in the end it always just dies because they don’t have that interest. So I mean, why Jean? Why was it so fucking important to you that he knew how to do it? That he could do it with you?”

Jean struggles for words. “I just - “

“Shut up. Those were rhetorical. So by this time, before I even met him, I’m thinking ‘Shit, Jean has it bad,’ so I come out to you. I think if I do you will. Imagine my fucking surprise when you don’t. But, whatever I’d been meaning to for a while. Then Armin starts coming around and, I’m just saying, you are _always_ staring at him. He never notices because he’s always too busy trying not to stare at you. I mean even when we’ve been at the skatepark since this started all you do is look at him.”

Jean felt the silence settle in his body. He swallowed and it echoed in his ears. Suddenly, it felt like he was falling off a huge cliff he hadn’t seen the edge of. “Oh, shit.”

Ymir nods. “Look man. All you’ve ever been focused on is skateboarding. Even when you _did_ date you never put much effort into it. But, you give it all for Armin. I’m not saying you’re gay, I’m not telling you to decide shit like that, what I am saying is that you’ve never considered anything outside skateboarding. But, you need to because if you don’t you’re going to lose Armin entirely.”

He looked at his hands and thought back over the last two years for what felt like a long time. When he was finally ready to talk he could only think of one thing to say, “I slipped him tongue.”

Ymir snorted as a sly smile spread across her face. “Dude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pride myself on trying to make my characters realistic. That means giving them faults. Jean's fault is that he's like 15-16, probs confused, hurt, and angry. Not to mention his better half is like twenty percent of his brain power.  
> -shrugs-
> 
> Anyway, I work for free the way you aren't _really_ paying for the service of the waitress at a restaurant. Kudos and comments aren't nessecary but fifteen percent gratituity is kinda standard.
> 
> If you gotta have your fix cause you just can't quit, please, check out my  other works.
> 
> WGIW Might be delayed another week if you happen to be reading that as well.
> 
> See you Friday!


	5. Wheels At His Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! It's payday here and let me tell you, thank god. Fanfiction wiriting don't pay the bills, as much as I wish it would.
> 
> Here is the conclusion. Garunteed to make you smile. Maybe. IDK. I'm not really known for that.

~o~

Some people in life were born with a natural affinity for grand gestures. Jean was not one of them.

It’d been a week since he’d talked with Ymir. He’d had seven days to mull over their conversation. In the end he’d come to know two things. He probably wasn’t straight and probably fell somewhere on a spectrum just south of that, or beside that, or something. Thank god for the internet not being able to make fun of him searching: _I’m a guy and I think I like my best friend_. Second, he was probably some sort of in love with his best friend.

As a side note he’d also learned that he was fucking idiot with no finesse. If he had finesse he would have been able to make up with Armin already. Instead he was spending most of his time doing kickflips in his garage and illegally ledge or rail sliding in the downtown area. It was, in part, because the downtown area had more to practice on. The other part was that he was avoiding Armin.

He’d been upset Armin was avoiding him but now that he knew why and was also going through that himself he understood. The next time he faced Armin he’d have to apologize and somehow make up for everything he’d done. However, in the end, he could still fuck it up.

Tomorrow was TXE. Possibly the most important day of his young life. He was scared as all hell. Whenever he thought about it he felt like he might throw up. It would have been so much easier if he was talking it through with Armin. He would have kept Jean calm.

Not being able to think of much else he rolled over in bed and jerked off. He told himself a bedtime story about Armin pushing him up against the counter in the kitchen and sucking him off. In his story Armin was wearing the hat Jean bought him for Christmas, the lime green one with the straight black bill, that worn out tanktop with the black and white geometric pattern, and dark jeans that sat low on his hips.

While the story was riveting it hadn’t had the desired effect of making him calm or tired enough to sleep. He cleaned himself up and got dressed. He grabbed his board and closed the front door quietly behind him. The gravel crunched under his wheels as he made his way down the hills to Armin’s house. The windows were dark when he came to a stop on the sidewalk.

Jean could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he stepped onto Armin’s lawn. He snuck around the side of the house hoping the neighbors weren’t going to see him and call the cops. Taking a deep breath he knocked on Armin’s window. The moonlight allowed him to see the lump on the bed jump before Armin sat up and turned to look. His hair was mussed and he squinted in the dark. Not being able to help himself Jean smirked as he raised his hand in greeting.

Armin frowned, which, Jean thought, wasn’t a good sign. After a moment Armin got up and came to the window. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and for a few moments that’s all Jean could focus on. Then Armin was pushing open his window, his blond hair swishing around his face.

“What?” Armin’s voice was clipped.

Jean swallowed the lump in his throat. “I got an offer from Postscript.”

Armin stared at him. “That’s what you came here to talk about?”

He felt this was a trick question. “Yes?” Armin went to close the window. “I mean no! But, also, a little, yes.”

“Well,” Armin prompted.

“I’m sorry for what I said. All of it.”

Armin sighed. “Are you sorry because you said what you said and I’m gay? Or, are you sorry because it was a shitty thing to say?”

“The second one. It was dick thing to say whether you’re gay or not.”

“I _am_.”

Jean nodded. “I know.” He licked his lips, unsure what to do next.

“What kind of offer did Postscript make?” Armin switched to his business mode.

“They didn’t. Not really. They said that they were going to be at TXE so to bring it and I might get an actual offer. Basically.”

“Isn’t TXE tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I want you to go.”

Armin dipped his head and pushed his hair back with the palm of his hand. He stayed like that for a long moment before looking back up. “Jean, I don’t think I can be around you anymore.”

“But - but I apologized!”

“Shh.” Armin closed his eyes like he was soothing a child. “I know you’re sorry. This isn’t about that. It’s about me, okay?”

“No. No, not okay. This is about me too!”

“SHH. How do you figure?”

“Because you like me. _That’s_ about me.”

Armin blushed. “That’s why I can’t be around you, Jean. It’s -” He tried to find the words. “It’s fucking painful, okay?”

“It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to make it.”

He saw Armin’s face turn sour. “Jean, you don’t get it -”

“We could be together.” Jean’s stomach flipped. Thinking it and saying it were two different realities. In saying it he felt set in his feelings. He wouldn’t back down.

In all their time as friends Jean had never managed to make Armin silent. They stared at eachother. Armin’s mouth hung open in shock and then he found his words. “Jean. You’re not gay. You don’t have feelings for me.”

Jean scrunched his face up. His blood felt cold and it hurt as it moved through him. He wondered if this was how he’d made Armin feel. “I do have feelings for you!”

Armin looked exasperated. “Jean -”

“No. Armin. Listen to me. I’ll be honest, I’m not gay, but I’m not straight either.” He started to falter. “Have you heard of a spectrum? Like, it’s this big thing on the internet and I think it describes me pretty well. Like, I don’t know. I’ve dated girls. But, I dated them because they were cute? Not because they were girls. You get it? You’re cute and funny and smart and I’m a fucking idiot for not realizing it sooner. In my defense I was a little preoccupied with skateboarding and shit so that’s probably why I didn’t notice. You know? Because I knew you weren’t going anywhere. But, now, you have gone somewhere and I don’t like it. I feel like shit all the time and I just want you back. And, I mean, I’m still trying to figure it out and it’s confusing as fuck, but, you know, everything is just less confusing when you’re with me.”

Armin’s face looked like two parts sadness and one part disbelief.

“You don’t believe me.” Jean dropped his board and threw his arms away from himself. “What can I do to make you believe me? I jerked off thinking about you! I have every night since the last time we kissed. I did it before I even came here.”

“Jesus,” Armin dropped to his knees behind his window.

“Armin, please. I know I’m a fucking jerk and I know I don’t deserve it but please please please let me at least try to make everything up to you. Let me try to be the person you deserve.”

Armin didn’t emerge for a long time. Jean started to think Armin was just trying to wait him out. “‘Min?”

Armin came back up and leaned out the window. “I’ll think about it. Okay?”

Jean felt a smile split across his face. Before he could think about boundaries he came forward and kissed Armin hard on the lips. Armin had no time to even react when Jean pulled away. “Just one for the road.” Jean picked up his board and trotted away. A moment later his phone went off with a text from Armin.

_I’m going to beat you with my board. Again._

~o~

In sheer size, TXE was nothing like Armin had seen before. People were flooding across the field in droves and heading towards the bleachers set up to look over the course and ocean. The park that had been chosen sat right on the coast, not unlike their own skatepark. It was later in the day when he arrived considering Jean’s division would be second to last. The sun hung low in the sky over the water.

Knowing he wouldn’t get a seat just standing around he picked up the pace. He chose his place on instinct. It was on the right most side in plain view of the three level stair obstacle. The stairs had a nice rail going down the center of them that reminded Armin of a lightning bolt. His eyes scanned the rest of the course. It was a mash up of street and art style parks. On the left the course had atypical structures that jutted out of the ground that were probably commissioned to look like art and still be skateable. Their halfpipe had a spiral quality to it. It started high so the rider could climb up but the height gradually tapered off and made a smooth curve to the ground. Towards the middle the style transitioned to start looking more like a typical street park. There were ledges to slide on and stairs to jump off. But, nothing looked nearly as intimidating as the three level rail.

Armin sat his board between his legs and hands under this thighs just as the first rider of Jean’s division skated onto the course. The large clock lit up and started counting down his two minute limit.

Jean had texted him that morning to ask if he was coming. He’d sat and looked at the text for a long time before throwing it on his bed and turning to shower. Saying he was nervous to face Jean was an understatement. He’d spent the better part of the last month avoiding him because he thought he’d never be able to have his feelings returned. Jean had blown that notion out of the water.

Now, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the possible complications of dating his best friend. One, they’d have to come out eventually. Armin had been fully aware of his sexuality for about a month and already he was ready to move on from being closeted. Jean was admittedly still confused and Armin wasn’t sure if he was willing to wait on coming out. If they did date he would never _out_ Jean but Jean might have to deal with people giving him shit for having a gay friend. Two, if they did date and they were out Jean’s sponsorship offers would stop. There had been one openly gay male pro Armin knew of and his career had gotten cut short when he came out. Three, Armin was going to be going to college and then med school. So they’d get to be together for a while but then it would have to end. That wasn’t fair to Jean. It would be easier to say goodbye if they didn’t invest more than friendship. These were the things Armin thought of as he sat watching the competitors.

He also thought of kissing. He thought about kissing Jean, specifically. He thought about Jean sneaking over, sleeping in the same bed as him, and the warmth of being held. He thought of going to Jean’s family barbeques and holding hands under the picnic table. Then he thought of how the things they did wouldn’t really change. They’d still go to the skatepark, the boardwalk, the beach, school, but they would be together. They’d brush shoulders, make stupid faces at each other, smile at stupid shit the other did, cast sidelong glances to one another and it would _mean_ something. It’d never meant anything before.

Armin bit his nails. It was a habit of nervousness. He shook his hand out when he bit too deep and his finger stung. So far every competitors run had been varying on the edge of solid. Jean had said something about Postscript telling him to bring his A game, which lead him to believe that other people in this contest were also possible candidates for sponsorship. He’d expected a higher caliber of performance if he was being honest.

As the sets went on the runs got better though nobody touched the large rail. Armin wondered if they just hadn’t been prepared for a rail of that difficulty. However, he knew that whoever landed a trick off that rail would probably take the competition.

There were only three competitors left when they announced Jean’s name. He went straight into it. When he emerged he was wearing a tank top with thick, horizontal blue and yellow stripes, black board shorts, and his hat made of amoeba print. He looked confident as he came to each obstacle. His balance and fluidity shined through as he made his way across the course.

Armin watched Jean size up the artsy half pipe as he built up speed to head straight towards it. He started at the lower end and boarded at an angle to highest point. Not stopping for a break he turned to take the curve down. Using the momentum he built from his descent he went straight for a long ledge. His olie was perfect and he landed his frontslide without incident.

Jean weaved through the rest of the course and, knowing Jean, Armin knew to expect him to end with the rail. Almost as if on cue Jean rounded himself towards the top of the rail. Now that the moment was there Armin kind of wished he wouldn’t go for it. If only so that Jean had no chance of getting hurt.

His speed was perfect as he approached, a dull buzz fell over the crowd. Armin’s breath caught when Jean began his ollie. Jean’s body turned and Armin felt his jaw drop. Not only was he going to slide it, but Jean was going to do it backwards. Jean landed on the rail smoothly. It looked so effortless as Jean moved backwards on the rail. He made the first drop and glided towards the second.

It was then that it happened. Jean’s concentration only deviated for a second but when it did Armin could feel Jean’s eyes on him. The moment seemed to pass in slow motion. Armin saw Jean’s eyes widen, then the angle of his back changed only slightly but it was enough to throw him off balance. Jean’s board shot out in front of him and, suddenly, Jean was falling. Armin reacted before Jean hit the ground. He threw himself against the railing of the bleachers just as Jean hit the ground. His body skidded against the concrete and the crowd fell silent.   

Jean didn’t move and Armin didn’t breathe.

“C’mon Jean get up.” Armin said to himself as the medics stepped on to the course.

Jean moved slowly as he sat up. He staggered to his feet. He looked to Armin, then he looked to the clock. He still had twenty-five seconds. He jogged to his board; with one step he was on it and with the next he was pushing off. The people in the stands cheered for his recovery but Armin stayed quiet save for the slow, deliberate clap of his hands.

Armin watched Jean round back on the rail and push off with force, he lined up his board and he ollied on to the rail. The crowd cheered as he landed his kickflip and slid on the rail perfectly. He spun his board out at the end and landed facing forward. Jean grinned as he used the last of his momentum to power slide to a stop. The buzzer went off and the crowd cheered as Jean skated off the course.

He backed away from the railing and made his way off the bleachers. He came around the back side of the course. Friends and family were set up under little complimentary tents. He went up to a woman at the water cooler, “Hey, um, where’d that kid just go?”

She raised her eyebrow, “You mean the one that wiped out?”

Armin nodded, “That would be the one.”

“I don’t know. I saw him go that way,” she waved behind them towards the beach.

“Thanks.” Armin turned away towards the beach. He kicked off his shoes and stuffed his socks in them. He carried his board under his left arm and his shoes with his right hand. To the left the beach still had people but to the right there was less. He went right.

Armin followed the beach, the longer he walked the less people there were. Cliffs started to rise out of the sand until they towered above him. He stopped when he finally saw Jean, he was sitting with his board beside him, knees up, and forearms across them to balance his weight. Armin took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Jean didn’t look up as Armin approached, almost as if he had known Armin would come. Armin dropped his board and tossed his shoes out in front of him. He sat with his legs spread out in front of him. Neither of them spoke and Armin buried his toes in the fine sand.

“Did you stick around for my scores?”

Armin shook his head, “No.”

Jean threw his hat to the side and tugged at his hair, something he did while stressed. “I’m so fucked. This was my chance and - fuck.” He sighed. “I just thought I _had_ it.”

“I’m sorry.” Armin shifted and crossed his legs.

“Wait. Why?”

“Didn’t you lose your balance because of me?”

Jean sat up straight and smirked. “I lost my balance because of me, dude. I was surprised to see you, yeah, but I wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t put us in this situation to begin with.” He paused. “I’m glad you were there. Fuck, I’m relieved you’re here at all. I thought - I don’t know, I thought it was over. Everything.”

Armin didn’t say anything to that. “How bad is it?”

Jean made a face that gave him away. “Not that bad.”

He rolled his eyes, “Let me see.” Armin sat up and moved to kneel in front of Jean which really just put him between Jean’s legs.

Jean snickered. “This is a little gay.”

“Jesus,” Armin snorted as he turned Jean’s arm to get a better look at the cuts over his bicep. Most of them were superficial but because there were so many Armin was concerned with infection. “You know you’re lucky you didn’t break something.” He turned his attention to Jean’s leg which, from his vantage point on the bleachers, had looked like it might of also sustained injury. He sat back on his calves and pushed Jean’s short leg up over his knee. His face burned and he dared not look up. Even though he wasn’t looking he knew Jean was staring. His face was probably serious and Jean was always most handsome with his jaw set and eyes intent. Armin poked at Jean’s calf and Jean hissed. “Probably just bruising.” Armin ran his index finger over the tiny scar under Jean’s knee. “You really should have let the medics look at you.”

“Armin.” Jean commanded his attention and Armin’s finger stilled. He sat back up to move but Jean grabbed him by his hips. Without meaning to Armin felt himself relax between Jean’s hands.

Jean was waiting for him to say something. “I don’t know, Jean. I mean, I _love_ you. Like I really, _really_ love you. And I know you said you can, but what if you can’t love me back the same way in the end? And there are so many other issues. I’m going to go away for school and what are we going to tell people? I want to tell people. I have no desire to be closeted about myself but if you come out the sponsorship offers would stop coming in. That’s what you’ve been working towards for so long, Jean. Have you thought about that at all?”

Jean sighed, “Honestly? No. But, we always knew you were going to go away. We can be out to whoever you want to be. I don’t care. Ymir knew it before I did. As for the sponsors - relationships are private things ‘Min.”

Armin stared at him and Jean didn’t look away. “You make it sound simple.”

“Only because you have to make everything overly complicated.”

Armin licked his lips, “You looked great out there.”

“Yeah too bad it won’t mean anything. I fucked up my chance with your second choice.”

“Actually they’re my first choice. PURE hasn’t had any profit in the last fiscal year.”

Jean laughed, “So what you’re telling me is my fuck up was bigger than I thought.”

Armin ran his fingers through Jean’s hair. “Maybe. We never did see your scores.”

The energy between them was charged. Both of them smiled wide and Armin’s hand fell to Jean’s neck just as his thumb found it’s way under the hem of Armin’s shirt. His thumb ran back and forth across Armin’s hip bone. “Can we make out now?”

Armin felt his heart drop to his stomach as he nodded. Jean stretched up and put his mouth to Armin’s. It wasn’t so much kissing as it was smiling with their faces touching. Jean pulled Armin to him as he leaned back in the sand.

He placed his forearms on the sides of Jean‘s head just as Jean wrapped one arm around his waist and let the other trail up his back. Armin moaned softly into Jean’s mouth and the mood shifted from playful to fevered. He felt like a man traveling through the desert, hot but mostly thirsty. Licking into Jean’s mouth he tugged at his hair.

Jean moved away from Armin’s mouth and sucked at his neck. “Making out on the beach is hot but _so_ uncomfortable.”

Armin snorted and pushed his face into Jean’s neck to hide his laughter.

“Seriously. I think I already have sand on my balls.” Jean kissed Armin’s cheek and in response he laughed harder. “This isn’t a laughing matter, Armin! How the fuck are you going to put my balls in your mouth if they’re covered in sand?”

Armin rolled off Jean and sat up. He took a handful of sand and dumped it on Jean’s chest. “Good thing my balls are as sand free as your mouth is unoccupied.”

Jean stared at him for a moment before he got Armin’s meaning. “You little -”

Armin picked up his stuff and ran back towards the competition laughing the whole way. Jean caught him by the waist just before the cliffs ended. He kissed Armin fully on the mouth just as the sun dipped below the horizon.

~o~

Jean placed third in his division. Him and Armin were just leaving when he saw a familiar face pushing their way through the oncoming crowd towards them.

Sasha raised her hand, “Jean!” She made a final push and landed in front of him. “I’m so glad I caught you. This -” She looked behind her only to see there was nobody there. “Dammit. Reiner!”

A hulking blond man turned his attention to them. The crowd parted around him and he came up behind Sasha. “Like I was saying. This is Reiner. Owner of Postscript Skateboarding.”

Jean felt his jaw drop and Armin tugged on the back of his shirt to calm him. “H-hello,” he stumbled over his words. “I’m Jean.”

Reiner chuckled warmly. “Yes, I know. I judged your competition today. Very impressive board work.”

“T-thank you.”

“We would like to discuss the possibility of sponsoring you. If you’re interested.”

Jean faltered. He’s been waiting his whole skateboarding life to hear those words from people who could back them up. “I-I-”

“He’d love to.” Armin stepped forward. “We’ll need to schedule a meeting between him and his parents and your legal department, of course.”

Reiner smiled. “Of course. Sasha will be in touch.”

The two of them walked away leaving Jean and Armin to themselves. “Holy shit. Did that just happen?” He turned to Armin.

Armin was smiling at him wide and toothy. “Yeah it did.”

Jean grabbed Armin’s hand and lifted it between them. He interlaced their fingers for support. It felt surreal and destined all at the same time. Jean swallowed. He could freak out about Postscript later, at that moment he just wanted to be with Armin. “Let’s go to the skatepark. Then we can go grab food from the Mexican place you like.” He let go of Armin’s hand, dragging his fingers. He laid his board out and took off. Jean didn’t look back because he was confident Armin would always be there. “Oh, and then we can go watch that new documentary from the science channel you were talking about a few weeks ago at my house.”

Armin smiled to himself, “Lead the way.”

Armin’s wheels hit the pavement just like they always would.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how at the end of a show the audience gives a stadning ovation? Well, I think y'all know what that equivalent is here. Either way, comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this AU. I'm very tempted to write a oneshot for it with their first time. Maybe I'll tack that onto my list of things to write for this pairing. Which, let me tell you, is all I'm writing for the foreseeable future.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Don't forget to check out [my other works](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mindlessadri/works)
> 
> Hopefully, I'll see y'all soon!

**Author's Note:**

> So we have the conflict set and somebody has a lit match.  
> As always thanks for reading!  
> You can find my other works [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mindlessadri/pseuds/cunttwatula).  
> Don't feel shy, drop a line. Or kudos. Whatevs.
> 
> Also, if you read What Grows in Winter it will hopefully be back to posting on the 20th.
> 
>  
> 
> I will see you sunday! Bring tissues.


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